4 Takeaways From a Year of Pastoring
by Scott Neubauer
As I approach the one year anniversary of being thrust from Associate/Children’s Pastor to Senior/Lead Pastor, I have been reflecting on the things I’ve learned over the past year. For those of you well seasoned in ministry, I’m sure these will be “old hat,” but perhaps they will serve as a reminder for you, and for those starting out like myself may they serve as fair warning and encouragement for you.
- It’s okay to make mistakes, but be willing to admit them
Early on in my first year, I had an idea for a certain ministry. I was sure this ministry would take off and become a huge success, and because of my certainty we shuffled around some ministries and cancelled others to make way for my “brilliant idea.” Six months into it, I realized that while some good things had come from it, it hadn’t taken off like I hoped, and in many ways it was a flop. I’ve found it’s easy to kill someone else’s idea, but it’s much harder to kill your own.
The only way we will succeed as pastors is to try new things, but in the midst of trying new things, we have to realize that some are going to fail, and that’s okay, as long as we’re willing to recognize and admit that. I think of King David and King Saul in scripture who both made mistakes, but the difference between them was that David was willing to humble himself and admit them.
- Confrontation with the right motivation is a loving thing to do
I willingly admit that I am not someone who enjoys confrontation. In fact, there was a time when I would literally avoid even the smallest confrontation at all costs. You don’t have to pastor for long to realize that confrontation comes with the territory.
A turning point for me came when I realized that confrontation done with the right motivation is the most loving thing you can do for someone. The most unloving thing you can do for that ministry leader or church member who is constantly (insert sin here) is to let them continue on in it. Not only will it destroy your church, it will destroy them. Thus, the loving thing to do is to confront them in love. Nine times out of ten they will receive what you have to say and you’ll “have gained your brother (or sister)” (Matt. 18:15).
- Wise counsel is an invaluable resource
My wife and I would have never made it through the past year if it weren’t for the support, prayer, and counsel of wise and seasoned pastors and leaders. Ministry was never meant to be done alone, and I realize that more now than ever. I’m so grateful for the FCA elders and others who would simply call me up for no other reason than to see how things are going, and would patiently listen to me vent, question, or pick their brain on church issues.
- Thick skin is good, calloused skin is not
I’ve often been told that in ministry you have to have thick skin, and that’s true. Even in a just a year of pastoring my wife and I have seen people we thought were “for” us and “for” the church turn their back and show their true colors. But there’s a fine line between thick skin and calloused skin.
I believe thick skin is knowing that your value and worth as a pastor and a person comes from God, and God alone, and not letting your joy or self-worth hinge on the praise or persecution of man. On the other hand, I believe we cross over into calloused skin when we’ve been hurt so many times that we are needlessly suspicious of everyone and no longer trust or open up to anyone because of the pain and hurt from past experiences. Thick skin is necessary; the hardness that comes with calloused skin is dangerous.
I hope some of the lessons I’ve learned in the past year might encourage and help you in your ministry.
If you’ve made some mistakes, don’t be afraid to admit them and move on.
If you have someone you need to confront, don’t put it off any longer. It’s the most loving thing you can do for them.
If you’re lacking seasoned pastors and leaders you can turn to, make a point to develop those relationships this year. Take part in the regular opportunities that we have as the FCA to connect with other pastors and leaders.
If your ministry skin has gotten calloused, ask God to help you view your church with His eyes.
Are there other thoughts that you would offer Pastors in their first years of ministry???
Scott Neubauer is the Lead Pastor at Church in the Word in Elgin, IL and also serves as a Regional Representative to the USA National Board.
